Chocolate, Grace & Heli-poppers

I have been reading lately about what the Bible says about children.  There is some wonderful parenting advice and great imagery relating to children but I've found myself really meditating and thinking on what it means to have "childlike faith."  Having the faith of a child is mentioned in Matthew, Mark and Luke so it must be important!  I've heard it discussed many times over the years but I've never stopped to really think about what it means to have faith like a child. 

Luke 18: 15-17

¹⁵ One day some parents brought their little children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But when the disciples saw this, they scolded the parents for bothering him.

¹⁶ Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. ¹⁷ I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.”

Instead of Googling what the great teachers and preachers of our time say about "childlike faith," I decided to just pay special attention to Maggie and see how her faith was revealed to me.  Maggie is 20 months old today and boy, is she fun! She is her own person, very opinionated and talking up a storm. She is our petite, affectionate, chocolate-loving firecracker and we are so blessed to have her!  Maggie has recently become obsessed with chocolate.  So much that a few nights ago Christian and I listened to her on the monitor as she went to sleep talking about "blue chocolate," "yellow chocolate," and "red chocolate"... otherwise known as M&Ms. The next morning, she woke up and the first thing out of her mouth was "chocolate!" with a big smile on her face.  When she realized that Christian and I were looking down at her she said, "PLEASE!"  We are asked for chocolate a lot and every time, regardless of time of day or if we even have chocolate, she expects us to give it to her.  Is this "childlike faith" - having every confidence that whatever your request, the Lord can fulfill it? 

"Chocolate Smile!"

I have also witnessed how Maggie views grace.  When she gets put into time-out or made to apologize, she never doubts that everything will be okay afterwards.  She will be screaming in time-out and then after she says, "sorry Mama" and we hug, she runs off to play.  She doesn't beat herself up, feel guilty or hold a grudge once it's over.  Even when she's made a bad choice, suffered the consequences and been held accountable, she doesn't doubt my love once it's over.  It's in the past and she happily climbs back up in my lap to watch "Mickey Mouse."  As adults, we question whether or not we deserve forgiveness and the unconditional love of God after we screw up. We have a hard time accepting grace when we don't feel "good enough" to deserve it.  Maybe having "childlike faith" means that we don't doubt God's love and are content to climb back into his hands?

This morning Christian, Maggie and I met up with my mom, brother-in-law and nephews at a community "Safety Day".  There were helicopters, firetrucks, ambulances, SWAT trucks, etc.  The kids all had a great time climbing in and out of the vehicles.  Maggie was especially impressed with the "heli-poppers".  After we had been there a while we noticed that there was a helicopter that was circling and about to land in the parking lot.  My mom was holding Maggie and she moved closer so that Maggie could have a better look.  At some point the noise, wind or excitement became too much and Maggie was frightened.  My mom hurried back towards us saying that Maggie was crying for her daddy.  She lunged into Christian's arms frowning and started pointing towards the helicopter.  She was scared and what immediately made sense to her was to run to her daddy.  I'm not sure what she thought he could do about the helicopter but she knew her daddy could make it better and keep her safe.  Is this the lesson that Jesus was teaching? - When we don't know what is happening, when we are scared or sad, we should immediately run to our Father because he can make it better? 

Maybe "childlike faith" is all of these things or maybe it's something else altogether.  I plan on asking Jesus when I see Him. 

 

"Heli-poppers"

My appointment with Dr. U was upsetting on Friday.  Medically, everything is going well.  Both heart rates were good, all my blood work came back normal, I haven't had any big contractions and he didn't mention bed rest at all. These are all praises! However, when the nurse came in to give me my RhoGAM shot I fell apart.  I get RhoGAM every 12 weeks and she mentioned that this would more than likely be my last injection.  Hearing from the nurse that I would deliver within the next 12 weeks made it sound very soon and I got nervous.  Then, Dr. U came in. After running through all the medical stuff and doing an ultrasound he asked how I was doing emotionally.  I lost it again.  I had been feeling off for a few days and I guess it was just time to break down.  I told him how hearing "12 weeks" made me nervous and how when I think about walking into the OR on deliver day I still want to throw up.  I told him I don't know how we drive to hospital knowing what will happen and how guilty I still feel for Sam that everyone will (more than likely) be sad on the day he is born.  I cried that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get out all the things I want to say to John and that I was scared that Sam might be in the NICU if born too early.  I told him how I was nervous that I would have postpartum depression and that I didn't want to have to tell Maggie that she won't be bringing home "two babies."  Dr. U is an amazing man and he sat and listened and handed me kleenex and was very sad himself. He shared the ways he is specifically praying for me and my family and took the time to reassure me on things even though he had a full waiting room and 5 full exam rooms.  We are so blessed to have such an amazing friend in our doctor.  It makes all the difference and this friendship is another blessing that I know the Lord has provided.   It has been difficult this week to see all the blessings, even though I know they are there.  I have a lot of worry and anxiety that I need to leave at the Lord's feet in the next 12 weeks.  Please help me do this with your prayers. 

Love, Krystle

 

P.S. Brady is home from the hospital and doing well!  Thank you for praying for his recovery!