Book Recommendations

I love to read. When I was pregnant with Maggie I read 15-20 pregnancy books.  Since her birth, I've read numerous parenting books. I crave information and like to know what to expect.  My friends and family know this and I've been gifted many helpful and uplifting books over the past 3 weeks.

If you are carrying a child with a fatal diagnosis, have suffered a miscarriage or infant loss, I would recommend any of the below books.  I would also recommend gifting these books to a loved one who may be going through a similar situation.

-"I'll Hold You in Heaven: Healing and Hope For The Parent Who Has Lost a Child Through Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Abortion or Early Infant Death." Jack Hayford

This book is brief but explains what the Bible says specifically about unborn children. It was reassuring and filled with scripture. 

-"A Gift of Time: Continuing Your Pregnancy When Your Baby's Life Is Expected to Be Brief" Amy Kuebelbeck and Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D.

Every time I picked up this book it was a very emotional read because most of the information is presented through the personal stories of parents and health care providers. It contained a lot of practical suggestions on what to expect and things to think about. While I didn't enjoy reading it, I found it useful and used some of the suggestions in John's care plan.

-"When Hello Means Goodbye: A Guide For Parents Whose Child Dies Before Birth, At Birth or Shortly After Birth" Pat Schwiebert, RN and Paul Kirk, MD

A short informational booklet from the Perinatal Loss Organization. I would recommend reading this if you do not want to read all 400 pages of "A Gift of Time".  It is a good balance of practical information and emotional support.

-"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby" Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D

This book is mainly about how to grieve in a healthy way. It goes over signs of depression, potential problems within your marriage, ways to parent your other children , and how to deal with the anger, hurt and sadness you will feel for years to come.  I believe it is designed to help a mother after her child has left this world, not before.  It made me a little fearful of what is to come but I am now aware of many potential 'red-flags'.

-"Heaven is for Real" Todd Burpo

This book is the true story of a little boy's trip to Heaven and back. It's a very easy and uplifting read. I found comfort in the encounter he had in Heaven with his "older sister" whom had died when their mom miscarried.  It was reassuring to me that I will see John and all of our other angel babies in Heaven one day. 

-"Hearing Jesus Speak into Your Sorrow" Nancy Guthrie

We were given this book by a dear friend. His mom has lost two of her beloved children and this book has brought her peace. I'm not finished with it yet but it has ministered to my heart already.  As Nancy Guthrie says, "If you believe what Jesus says about those who believe in Him, you will grieve differently than those who do not believe.  Your sorrow will be real but it will be a hope-filled sorrow devoid of despair. You will grieve as a person whose soul is anchored by confidence in God's promises."    

-The Bible: Book of Psalms

I met with a member of our church pastoral staff a few weeks ago. He recommenced reading Psalms 1-150 aloud to the Lord as a part of my daily prayer time. He said doing this has helped restore his heart and relationship with Christ in hard times.  Some of the Psalms speak to me, and some do not, but they are all very emotional pleas or praises by David to the Lord.  Verses from Psalm 6 mirrored exactly what I was feeling in my heart when I read them on August 14th:

2 Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak.
    Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
³ I am sick at heart.
    How long, O Lord, until you restore me?

I am worn out from sobbing.
    All night I flood my bed with weeping,
    drenching it with my tears.
⁷ My vision is blurred by grief;
    my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.

We have a doctor's appointment on Friday with Dr. U. Please be praying that we do not get any bad news and that both boys are doing well. Thank you!

Love, Krystle